The Leadership skill we don't measure

This month, I began working with a career coach. As a part of my coaching, I recently completed the CliftonStrengths assessment, and one of my top themes is Includer. I've taken the assessment multiple times, and Includer is always in my Top 5.

“Stretch the circle wider.” This is your philosophy. As an instinctively accepting person, you hate the idea of someone being ignored or on the outside looking in. You want to include people and make them feel like they are part of the group. While some are drawn to exclusive clubs or cliques, you avoid groups that prohibit some people from joining. You welcome what people have to say without judgment regardless of their status, race, sex, nationality or faith. Your kindness and inclusive nature are rooted in the belief that people should respect differences and that fundamentally, we all have value and deserve to be included.

I mean, it checks out! 👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻

Seen. Heard. Valued.

Oddball Leaders build a culture of belonging

Oddball LeadershipBri Gerzevske

I’ve always been someone who notices.

• I notice who hasn't spoken yet in the discussion. Or who has dominated it.
• I wonder if one's silence is comfort or discomfort.
• I track the person or people lingering on the edge of the conversation.

AND TBH THAT'S ON MIDDLE CHILD SYNDROME™️.

Kidding aside, inclusion feels natural to me. And not as a means of strategy, either. It just is.

So when I reflect on leadership culture, I get the sense that even the more "progressive" concepts (/cough/ active listening /cough/) truly are not enough to be an effective, human-centered leader.

ACTIVE LISTENING ISN'T ENOUGH 🫢

It seems like the concept of active listening is a relatively new concept, even though the term was coined back in 1957 in the context of counseling, the more notable literature tailored to managers in the workplace has been published in the last ten years.

For a lot of people, especially managers and executives who have been in the workforce for decades, active listening could be an earth-shattering concept. A cutting-edge formula for leadership effectiveness.

Active listening teaches leaders to

• maintain eye contact
• set aside distractions
• keep a casual, relaxed posture
• reflect back on what was heard
• ask open-ended questions
• avoid interrupting

All good things. 100%. Don't be a loser who is trying to search for the perfect gif to drop in the group chat while your team member is expressing deeply-held concerns about a work situation. JUST DON'T DO IT.

AND! Active listening is simply about responding to what is said.

Active presence? It's built different.

It goes deeper. It takes into account the speaker as a whole person, and the surrounding circumstances.

Active presence is about noticing.

ACTIVE PRESENCE THRIVES IN PSYCHOLOGICAL SAFETY

Psychological safety — foundational to Oddball Leadership — is defined by low risk in asking questions, challenging ideas, and showing up authentically.

So naturally, cultivating a psychologically-safe environment allows active presence to bloom abundantly.

Active presence in psychological safety allows you to call team members in when they hesitate before giving input.

It allows you to offer care to a team member if they seem or act out of character.

And it allows for gentle correction and grace when a joke lands wrong and the energy shifts.

Because when active listening waits for words, active presence notices patterns.

A NUANCE I CAN'T IGNORE ANYMORE

Through my participation in The Nonprofit Hive, I was connected with Joanna Lund-Pops, a non-profit leader who has a wealth of knowledge and experience in working alongside and coaching neurodiverse professionals.

Earlier this year, I had the privilege of meeting with her to talk about neurodiversity in the workplace. Because, while I am not an expert in neurodivergence, I am responsible for the environments I create — environments where different brains, processing speeds, sensory thresholds, and communication styles all move through differently.

Joanna uplifted active presence as a critical skill for effective leaders to possess. Active presence can spot when a team member is experiencing overwhelm. Sensory overload. Shrinking themselves, or changing the tenor of the entire ecosystem.

And sometimes, it's simply because the properties of a work environment that we as a society deem as "normal" are, in fact, exclusionary.

That's a problem active listening can't fix.

THE INVESTMENT OF ACTIVE PRESENCE

Active listening, in all of its revolutionary glory, is visible. It can be performative, and it's reactive.

Active presence is subtle, and it requires an investment of sustained attention and care. It's always "on."

Active listening makes room for those who choose to communicate.

Active presence ensures that everyone has a seat at the table.

And honestly, like just about everything else Oddball Leadership demands, that's hard. It's not just communication tactics. It's careful, human-centered perceptual discipline.

NAMING THE THING

I am not surprised that Includer is one of my top strengths. It's not a new skill I have to develop. Being able to notice — even in the fringes — is something I've always done instinctively. It's how I'm wired.

And, I'm reminded of how rarely we name this skill.

We value attention to detail in our position descriptions and during our performance reviews.

But we don't often reward attentiveness.

And yet, if I want my team to feel seen,
I have to practice seeing.

After all, noticing is an intentional, attentional practice.

You cannot create a psychologically safe environment if you are not noticing where risk is felt.

So maybe the conversation about effective leadership needs to widen just a bit.

Not entirely away from listening.

But toward noticing.